Atopic

Ash had an appointment with Dr. Muralidhar Rajagopalan, a paediatric dermatologist at Apollo hospitals, Chennai yesterday. He told us that the kid's hyperactivity, short stature, and poor eating habits are all likely linked to his atopic dermatitis. He suggested some 8 blood tests, including one on Vitamin D function, to understand the problem better and prescribe how best to cope with his problem. The tests alone came to a whopping Rs.8000. (A still-sleeping Ash was taken early morning today to give 4 vials of blood.)

To think that this doctor had been coming to our company clinic for the past 10 years or more, and I have never bothered to use the free medical service! (There's a saying in my mother tongue: The jasmine in your own garden doesnt have any fragrance) And now I pay Apollo's cut-throat fees becuse the doctor has quit our Welfare Centre and concentrates at Apollo alone. He tells us that Dr. Patrick is not a peadiatric dermatologist. Anyways, I hope this guy can cure Ash's affliction. If he cant, I am planning to try Ayurveda when I go to Kerala next. It might surely have a remedy for karappan and raktadosham.
***
p.s. Mommy dear left for Kerala yesterday night. The kids who had been threatening each other with Appacha ninno until recently was trying to coax (the way we coax them to prefer Chandanapally's laidback, scenic, rustic life in place of dreary old Chennai) each other to go with her. Ash was heard telling Mira: There is kokkoko (hen), Bumo (Bruno our lab) there, go go. And when the granny was ready to go both seemed willing to go with her. But only as far as the railway station. When I asked her at the station whether she would go, Mira said: I am afraid of hens.

The gifts

Ash got a toy telephone, toy guitar (both from his granny), a push n' go jet plane (from me) and a basket ball net (from V). What I hadnt bargained for is that he'd expect the aeroplane to fly. I'm trying to convince him that it is on the runway, preparing for takeoff.

Ash turns 4

Ash cut a "car" cake (since we couldn't find an aeroplane cake) in the evening in the presence of a his grandma and a few colleagues of V. This is the first time his maternal granny, who generally comes only in times of crisis, is attending a birthday celebration of the kids.

Ash looked good in traditional attire and sandals. He is always excited about birthday cakes though he is not much of a cake eater. He is more interested in licking the cream over the cake.

p.s. There was no birthday feast since we had been generously provided with the previous day's party food by our friend - and which has lasted us a good three days!

A season of birthdays

... and parties.
On Sunday, we took part in two birthday celebrations. One of V's (11-yr-old) niece who had come down from Ooty with her parents, and secondly of a blogger friend's son. The former involved a cake-cutting at our place, and the latter a gala party on the terrace of our friend's flat.
The kids had fun at both, and were happy to have a lot of their peers around them for a change. I had fun too, especially as I got a good deal of time to chat with the kids's peadiatrician and his pathologist wife, who had made a surprise visit to the party with their teenaged son. I guess doctors too feel so lonely at the top and wouldnt mind interaction with their patients and their parents - the 10 minute allotted for each kid-patient at the hospital is not enough for such personal relationships.

New maid

My mom is in town. She landed yesterday with a maid in tow. In fact that was the main reason she came. My dad, who hasnt missed any of Ash's birthdays so far, decided to cancel his ticket in favour of hers as he didnt want to accompany a young maid in the train.

The new maid is in her mid-30s, has a drunkard husband and a teenaged daughter, and goes by the name of Kochumol (little girl). I am in a dilemma as to what to call her since that is a pet name we reserve for our daughters/nieces and not maids! I cant chechify her either, so I just have to call her her only name I guess.

The first day was a bit unsettling for her since we had an army of guests from Ooty - though I prepared the breakfast, she had to do a good part of the lunch. Her cooking is pretty good, so that is a comfort for us - though it means we are back to our Kerala dishes with an overdose of coconuts in all forms and shapes.

The kids for their part have warmed up to her and calls her ammamma. I hope they wont mind being alone with her in the house, once my mom leaves on the 28th.

She needs to show more involvement in babycare as right now she seems more interested in reading the newspaper and watching soaps on TV. And until she is trained and settles down, I cant rest.

Artist dad

A sequel to yesterday's post. A couple of paintings done by V.



And no, I wasnt the model for either - he found them in a book of paintings.



But right now, his artwork is limited to sketches on newspaper mastheads or waste paper.

***
The company has very kindly felicitated me, like many others at work, with a Titan watch (my watch luck seems to be high this year) and a certificate for completion of 10 years of service. Aint I ancient?

Artist mom

Most Indian mothers employ different tactics to get their fastidious
kids to eat. My effort today at making Ash take his plate of noodles
involved drawing various creatures and objects he suggested; towards
the end the demands went to drawing 'mary had a little lamb' and 'This
old man,... came rolling down'.
Unlike V, I am no artist with imagination - at the most I can copy a
picture like I did, with near perfection, for my zoology and botany
papers during my early college years.

Weekend snapshots

A birthday gift in advance for Ash - an elementary keyboard which the musically inclined Ash has taken a fancy to.

The dolly accompanied the kids on our Sunday outing because they said the doll will be afraid to stay alone at home! That's Mira in her latest leftover-material dress (which she seems to like unlike the blue one) and in my shoes!

On Children

By Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Portrait of a preschooler as a young man

Fresh-faced and smiling in the morning...

That half-open mouth reminds me of an Indian cricketer.

As messy as it can get.

Circus

I dont remember when I last went to a circus - probably when I was in high school. But those were days when television did not rule our lives the way it does now. Circuses were one of the prime means of excitement and entertainment especially for country bumpkins. But in these days and in cities, there are other means of entertainment and a circus is not the first option for a Sunday outing. But go we did yesterday to the Great Bombay Circus held in a ground behind the Central railway station. We thought it would be a different experience for the kids, whose main idea of an outing is a beach or a mall.

What I like best about circus are those fair pretty women in their shiny, short outfits. Once upon a time, they were a fascination for me. They were like the apsaras living in a world I thought was heavenly and performed like gymnasts on the ring. I wasnt disappointed yesterday either - the first item was by three girls in glittering yellow costumes. I also realised that the circus beauties hadnt lost their charm on me. I marvelled at their costumes and their antics - but with a tinge of sadness knowing that their lives were not as glamorous as it looked on stage. Especially when an artiste failed to achieve her goal - of netting a ball into a small bowl-like net atop a contraption she balanced on her feet, lying on her back - and V said: I am sure she is going to get whipped for this. She made it in her 3rd (or was it 4th?) attempt.

Now look at the brother-sister duo watching arm in arm! The kids werent as taken in by the events as we had hoped but some of the numbers caught their fancy - especially 2 bikers riding inside a huge circular thing. The sound system was bad so we couldnt make out what each item was called and what they involved. But the music that accompanied each item belonged to some Hindi film numbers, I think. Though I am told the Great Bombay Circus hasnt come from Bombay (Mumbai) - it is owned by a guy from Kanjirapalli, who has 3 other circuses to boot. I am saying this because this guy was a classmate of V's cousin, whose trip to the circus last week had made us want to make it too on Sunday afternoon.

There are no wild animals on show now - I mean, lions and tigers. We only got to see camels, horses, pedigreed dogs, parakeets and an elephant playing ball - not kicking, but batting sixers at the audience. I liked the camels with their half-sleepy and smug looks.

But as we walked out, I was saddened to see the tin-sheds in which the artistes lived in. There were a couple of clowns sitting outside, looking tired and sad.

There were quite a few White women performers, probably East European, judging by their good looks. There were many of the Mongoloid stock too, could be from north-east India.

A fire engine waited outside. People were already queueing up to enter for the next, and last, show. The show timings are 1, 4, 7 p.m. and last over 2 hours.

The only spoilsport were the hawkers selling icecreams, chocolates, cooldrinks and the like and often blocked our view apart from enticing kids to try their stuff (sold at double the MRP). At least in olden days, we could watch in peace but here business was mixed with pleasure. Mira missed a good part of the show while relishing an 'Iceberg' icecream. The event was sponsored by Candyman, so the elephant, the camels and the attenders were draped in branded clothing!

The day after

Gifts from V on my birthday yesterday, a blackforest cake and a Tussar silk sari. Something of an atonement for his usual forgetfulness about birthdays - mine and the kids' - and our wedding anniversary.

I had fancied this sari a month back when I had gone sari-hunting for my mom with my brother but I dont know if V knew that. Anyway I decided to forgive him for shouting at me for calling up home on Saturday afternoon when the kids had just gone to sleep - and I woke them up with the phone bell!

Ash was particularly excited about the cake - he relishes this cake-cutting business and fetched a candle shaped like a '2' (from Mira's last bday). Both of them enjoyed the cake too though they are not too fond of cakes.

Now we have to plan for Ash' birthday on the 25th and an interesting cake for him. My dad is coming down to see his favorite grandchild.

Middle March

Ashwin's doctor has told us that his problem is not attention-deficit but lack of enough attention (from parents). All his hyperactive and other activities are an effort at grabbing attention - something he has had to share with his lil sister ever since he was one and a half. We have been advised to give him more attention and care.
I had requested a few months' leave (before his school begins on June 10) to devote some time for him, maybe from mid-March when a colleague who has gone away to the UK on a Fellowship returns and the staff strength is not too lean - the boss has promised to treat the request favorably. I am lucky!

A blue dress

For a week, I have been persisting with a particular blue frilly dress that a lady in my colony had stitched for Mira from some leftover dress material. I think it looks lovely but Mira doesnt share my enthusiasm for it.
On Monday morning as I pick it up while getting her ready for preschool, she says ithu venda (not this!). She then runs off to pick a trouser and T shirt.
On Tuesday, I try my luck again hoping to pull it down her head when she is distracted with the powder tin. But she gives me the ithu venda refrain again.
It is such a pretty dress, I say aloud.
Let her wear what she likes, V advises me.
But I have to make her wear it a dozen times at least before I donate it to charity.
I keep it aside on Wednesday, but Thursday afternoon V manages to make her wear it as the maid takes her to the tailor to take measurement for yet another leftover-material-dress. "It is only for a very short outing," he tells her. She relents but gets out of it the moment she is back.
I fish it out again today as she prepares for school. "Wont you look like an angel in this?" I coax her. She let me try it on her reluctantly. She runs off to the mirror then.
She is happy with the transformation. She comes back to check herself in the mirror a while later. Still an angel. She goes away happy.

That makes me reflect about my days as a child. My mom would lock me up in the room for refusing to wear the clothes she chose - until I saw reason. But here I have a daughter who has a mind of her own already. Times have changed. Parents obey their children now.

Verbal gems

As a toddler, Mira is turning out to be extremely moody and bad-tempered at times - she probably inherited that from me!

Wake her up in the morning and she says: Vaava vayyaa = Vaava can't (get up). That is her favorite phrase when we ask her to do something - not always but at times. I guess she has a right to be disobedient.

If you persist with ennichu vaa (get up), she says: Ennichu vaa venda (get up not needed).

If you lift her off the bed forcibly and plonk her on the diwan in the parlour, she runs back to her bed shaking her little butt.

If she disapproves of my behaviour she rules, either growling or sobbing: Amma Appacha ninno (Amma go stay with granpa). I tell her I will only be too happy to do that!

School hunt

A lean day at work. So making up for the past few days' silence.
We are on the look out for a temporary good playschool for Ash, where he will have enough montessori-model activities to burn his energy. On the doctor's suggestion, we had come across a school called Saraswati Vidyalaya in Choolaimedu which has an interactive, airconditioned, disciplined playschool. V met the lady-in-charge of the nursery section, one Ms. Padma, who told me today that Ash can be admitted on a trial basis for a week. If he adjusts well and is happy there he can continue till the school closes for summer vacation in mid-April. They are not too keen on a temporary admission but we have already paid the school fee and donation at UCA. Whatever, we have to pay Rs.5000-odd as admission and term fees. The school timing is from 8.30 to 12 noon for KG. They also have a daycare which functions till 6.30 pm. That is an option we could think of when our maid woes get unmanageable.
Vinod went to Ash's old school to convey that he wont be coming any more - just told them that he is going off to Kerala for a while. They were a bit sad to hear it. The teacher said he had been a good boy, who grasped fast and did well. She showed his classwork and art work and stuff. His books have been returned.

On the eczema front, Ash's itching seems to be worse of late - dunno if it any food allergy or the change in medication - Zensoft, Flutibact and Cetaphil in place of HHsone and Atogla. Might have to meet Dr. Patrick again. To our consolation he had observed that eczemic kids are smaller and fail to thrive until they get the better of their affliction. Which made V wonder if the doctor himself, a small wiry man with dry skin, is eczemic.

Mr. Mom

In the absence of a full-time maid, V has been helping with getting the kids ready and sometimes with some innovative cooking (that's a burger designed by V).

Well, actually he has always done more baby-rearing than me - brushing, bathing, feeding and other assorted needs of theirs. Here is V brushing the teeth of a still-sleeping Ash (who is probably watching the last bit of his early morning dream). Getting Ash out of bed is a feat for us - he is a little Kumbakarna when it comes to sleeping. While Mira is already up and having idli with coconut chutney.

Laughing mischief away

"As a mother of twins, my best advice to any parent is to remember to laugh. So what if that blackcurrant juice puts a little stain on your carpet or your new book gets torn? Take a look at that precious, guilty face and just laugh. In two or three years, you'll look at your big girl or boy and miss that innocent face." — Tad

Something I read on babycentre UK. And something I forget to do every day.
I, instead, react with screeches, curses and whacks. Sorry kids!