Comedy of Terrors, Act II, Sc. 1

(The boy is on a provision shopping expedition with his dad.)
Boy: Appa, I dont want ice cream. It will itch.
Appa: Good.
Boy: Appa, I dont want chocolate either.
Appa: Very good.
Boy: But Appa, please get an ice cream for Vaava. Chocolate too.
(The dad delves into the freezer box for an icecream.)
Boy: Appa, take one for me too.

***

(The boy sights a Play Dough pack next. He picks it up unheeding his dad's no-no and proceeds with it under the arm to the lady at the billing counter.)
Lady Cashier: Hey, wasnt it just last week that you bought one and went home?
Boy: That one? Appa broke it!

(Note: "it" refers to the dough-kneading instrument. And no, the Boy wasnt lying. His dad broke it while trying to squeeze out some hardened dough.)

Comedy of terrors, Act 1, Sc. 5

(The Boy is in the parlour, eating a bowl of icecream and watching TV. The Girl is eating her share. The papa decides to test the Boy's love for him and for the icecream.)
Papa: Can I taste your ice cream?
Boy: No, you ask the girl.
Papa (going over to the girl): Can Appa have one spoon of your ice cream?
Girl (half hesitant, lets him taste): Now dont come for more.
Boy (meanwhile licks his bowl clean, states): I want some more.
Mama: No more. You will puke.
(A tantrum follows, and the Boy gets an extra serving. The girl gets an extra helping too, as a result.)

***
(The Boy and the Girl are out on a stroll with their parents. Stopping at the local provision store, the Boy demands a packet of Lays. Both get a packet each and start munching, dropping a few in the process.)
Papa (to the Boy): Can have one of your salted potato chips?
Boy (reluctantly parting with one): Here. Now dont ask for more. You will puke.

Comedy of terrors, Act 1, Sc. 4

Alight Boy and Girl out of a car at a shopping mall's parking lot. The girl is in the arms of the nanny, while mommy has just set the boy on to the ground from her lap. The boy lifts up both arms to the mother.

Boy: Amma, please carry me.

Mommy: No, you are a big boy. You may walk.

Boy (looking around worried): Noooo. (S)piderman will tweak my ears.

Mommy: I will handle Spiderman when he comes.

Boy: A vehicle might hit me on the head if I walk.

Mommy, forgetting her backpain, laughs and lifts him up. She wonders where the Boy heard about Spiderman. She has only seen him watch Tom and Jerry and Scooby Doo and Popeye on Cartoon Network. When did Spiderman enter the picture? Whatever, Spiderman seems to lord over the little boy's life now. He will whack him, pinch him or bully him if the Boy does anything he doesnt want to do.

Comedy of terrors, Act 1, Sc. 3

Enter Papa, a middle-aged, good-natured man with a receding hairline. He has bouts of fleeting bad temper but otherwise a kind-hearted fella.
The boy is eyeing the refridgerator. The subject of interest is a box of cadbury butterscotch nuggets gifted a day earlier by a visiting relative.
Boy: Papa, I want that (pointing to the freezer).
Papa: I can give you both only one each. They are tablets.
The boy finishes his chocolate pellet and asks for more.
Papa: I am sorry, I cant give you any more as it is to cure illness.
Boy (beating his head) : I have headache.
Papa: That is not for headache.
Boy: Tummy ache, papa.
Papa: That wont cure tummy aches.
Boy: Ants biting me. Itching.

The father relents and opens the chocolate box to give him another. No use telling the little boy that cocoa products will make his itching worse. It is something the parents have been trying to cut out of his diet but chocolates that fall like manna from visitors into the hands of the Boy cant be avoided.

Comedy of terrors, Act 1, Sc. 2

The two kids are ready to go out late in the evening with the parents. Mommy asks the Boy to put on his shoes. The girl searches in the shoe rack. It is missing. The Boy doesnt understand why the parents are yelling at him. He stands there looking lost.
Finally Mommy spots it under the cupboard in the bedroom. She calls the Boy over and asks him to retrieve it.
M: I cant bend down, be a darling and get it yourself.
B (getting on all fours, he peers under the cupboard): Achacha peediya (Big Bro is afraid). Lizard there.
M: No lizards there. Come on.
B (peers again): Paata (cockroach) is there. I am afraid*.
M: Dont be silly.
B: Afraid. Mambu undu (snake is there).
M (laughing): Little liar!
(She gets down on all fours and retreives it for him)

* The Boy is only not afraid of ants. He sometimes kills them and takes them over to his mommy for inspection.
The parents wonder when he learnt to be afraid. Fear was not in his list of emotions until recently. In fact they had been careful not to instil fear in him of things around - the way old women made kids eat/behave by threatening them that a policeman/beggar/wolf etc. etc will catch/eat them if they didnt eat/obey.
The mommy remembers that one of her greatest fears was being kidnapped and bundled away by a beggar, having her eyes gouged out and made to beg on the streets.

Comedy of two (t)errors

Dramatis personae:
Mommy: a middle-aged, curly-haired woman with occasionals streaks of good temper. She walks around as if the whole world is going to collapse on her.
Boy: a puny little fellow who scuttles around like a rat but with an eye that doesnt miss anything even when he doesnt seem to be watching anything. Could be about 4 years, but doesnt look more than two years of age.
Girl: a short, round-faced two-year-old who seems as tall as the Boy. More stubborn than the Boy.
ACT 1: Scene 1
The phone rings. Mommy rushes to the room to pick it up. Two kids are sitting in the drawing room eating cakes.
Mommy spends 5 minutes at the phone grumbling about the kid's pranks and tantrums to the mother-in-law.
Meanwhile she notices that the kids have finished snacking, pulled a stool to the washbasin, turned on the tap and are washing and washing their hands like Pontius Pilate. The washing and lathering goes on for a good 3 minutes before she decides to end the phone conversation.
She rushes to the room, shouts at the kids who scamper away. She picks up the bottle of Lux liquid soap to find it almost empty. Nearly half its contents have gone down the drain.
Scene 2 will follow as and when time permits.