Sweet 16

Mira has reached the romantic sweet 16 in a girl's life. We tried to pep up her day with a BTS print on a strawberry cake from Brownie Point, a pair of Swarovski earrings, a JBL minispeaker (so that she doesnt go off with my kitchen FM radio with a bluetooth speaker, as she has been doing much to my consternation) and an Arabic dinner at Levantish (though the original plan was to order from Pizza Hut, Vinod didnt want more cheese and fat after the creamy cake).

Since it is exam season in CBSE schools, she couldnt celebrate with friends outside. However, her BFF sprang a surprise by dropping in home the evening before with a cake. With exams looming over their heads, it wasnt much fun but they made the best of it. They watched a movie for some time over chips, cookies, cutlet and home made chicken pasta. And then it was time to go home. V dropped them on the way to his weekly badminton game in Dubai.

She plans to have another celebration when exams are over in October and a second friend returns from India. Both Ash and Mira have their birthdays during the exam season, which spoils celebration plans. It is good for those who dont like to splurge on their birthdays, but not for our kids whose entire year revolves around birthday plans.

 

Back to gym

Mira and me have been going to the gym again. We had taken a three-month membership in March, a week before everything closed on account of COVID-19. Mira had insisted on joining the day her exams got over. Though I had my reservations about coronavirus then, I didnt express it as it wasnt yet a serious threat. But in a week things changed. Ash wrote two of his Board exams wearing masks and under high security at OOEHS.

Gyms opened again in Sharjah in August, or was it July? I dont remember. Anyway, aerobics started only in August, and the trainer as usual bunked once or twice a week since there were very few attending the morning sessions. In two weeks time I decided to stop until they found a more reliable trainer. The receptionist sweetly promised to put us for zumba classes instead once they found a person in October. Mira had the option of joining the evening classes at 6 or 7 pm - while I got busy in the kitchen - but she gave excuses that her exams were coming and she would be tired if she went to the gym. But I think the actual reason was the Netflix movies and video calls with her friends.

Anyway, in late September I learnt much to my shock that the gym-salon had changed hands and the receptionist who promised us everything had left. 

Instead we had the Nigerian cleaner, who until then invoked our sympathy and seemed such a paavam (harmless, poor thing), acting as the new manager/receptionist and dictating new terms. We were told that old pending memberships wont be valid anymore. I fought our case and insisted we be given the two remaining months of training, and so now we are going to the gym at 6 pm. I try to make time for it between work and dinner preparation. Like us, there is a daughter-mother pair attending the 6 pm session. We enjoy their company but occasionally we have a couple of other unwelcome faces (a haughty Pak lady especially,

who I think hates Indians or at least the two of us, so we make a mutual attempt at ignoring each other)  joining us.

I tell Mira I feel like a nursery school kid being forcibly sent to school. We force ourselves to go each day, though once we are there we dont actually mind it.

Pea for princess

I have just been wondering how to write this post without looking like I am bragging. But then arent mommy-blogs bragposts or nagposts very often?
Little Evan happens to be the only classmate of Mira's that we know personally. But I dont know if the kids know that the parents know each other. Evan's dad is V's colleague and his mom is the relative of a blood relative of mine.
Yesterday when V bumped into them after escorting Mira to her classroom, Evan's dad told him: "Evan tells us there is a princess in his class named Miriam."
His mom turned to Mira, and asked her: "Are you a princess?"
And Mira nodded shyly. Once out of the house, she doesnt open her mouth. At home, she is loud and bossy.
Today, I bump into them. "When we ask him about his friends, the first name he mentions is Miriam."
As for Miriam, all the children in her class are piller (children). She cant give us a single name.

Little games

Of late, Mira seems to think she is Dora, and sleeps with her schoolbag over her shoulder. She doesnt let go of her bag or tiffin box after she returns from school and plays her own games with them. Sometimes she involves the Dolly also in the game and pretends she is dropping her at school in the van.

Little stars

At the annual day in Mira's school today afternoon... with the IInd year BSc Nutrition students of WCC after the programme, alone in her specially tailored dress, with her teachers, and singing hymns (left on the 2nd row).

The function lasted an hour and had - apart from the customary welcome note, vote of thanks, a couple of speeches by the college dignitaries - the children take part in a few rounds of singing, dance to the tune of "Five Little Ducks went swimming one day" (dressed like five bright yellow ducks) and later an African number (in tribal outfits) and a fat little boy sing "Old Macdonald had a farm" with some prompting from his teacher. While some kids looked extremely confident and comfortable with the whole show, some looked unsure and miserable (that lil boy on the extreme right in the bottom picture bawled loudly throughout the song session). But the audience, mostly the proud parents and their relatives, enjoyed their performance or lack of it. It made me misty-eyed as I watched tiny tots in the 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 age group perform under the watchful eyes and quiet prodding of the teachers.

To V's alarm, Mira looked the smallest among them all. She seemed to sing out loudly, and a couple of folks told me as we walked out that "she was full of life" and "sang well". She didnt recite the verses as she never got round to learn beyond the first sentence. While Hitansh (the 2nd boy from the left in the front row), the son of the Gujarathi lady I made friends with when I went to collect the application form for the nursery last year, confidently recited a couple of verses. We have ordered a DVD of the programme.

The girls of the Home Science dept, displaying their anorexic figures in brown silken kurtas, had arranged and anchored the programme. Mira told me the chechis dressed her up and coloured her lips. Looking at them, I knew why college girls called me, with my unmaskable mummy figure and visage, an aunty. It irritates me no end.

As the head of the dept of Home Science said, some of the little girls would come back to study in the college 12 years later. And some boys return to invite their teachers for their wedding or to just meet them. Someday Mira will realise that she was part of a special experience, being part of the laboratory nursery school of the WCC.

Many parents came with a baby in their arms. Which meant their wards were the elder siblings. Ash, who has his school in the afternoons these days, did not attend. We left the college in time to pick him up from school.

Chameleon

I am changing the blog look once again, since my bro tells me that some of his friends found it was difficult to read on the light grey background.
This time, the change was achieved courtesy V, who has a much better sense of colour and order than me. Though unfamiliar with the blog terrain, once he got down to it he got very interested and gave me a satisfactory color combo. I must get him to sketch something for the header.
***
Meanwhile the maid is acclimatising well. She is a typical old-world type from Kerala - chews betel leaf at least 5 times a day and wears a lungi-blouse-towel combo after an initial attempt to survive the Chennai weather in synthetic saris. The kids initially found her attire strange, and insisted that she wear something else but have now got used to her.
They get along well with her and she relishes their company too. Only, once I reach home Mira changes colour. "I like only Amma, enikku ammame ishtamalla," with a stress on the last word. But the moment I leave for work, she tells the lady: "I like you a lot!"
She continues to be a tomboy and a terror at home but outside, she is quiet and well-behaved. To the teacher's "Good Morning Miriam" in the morning when she reaches school, she replies with a salute and not a word. The teacher assures me she mingles well with the other children.

Just last week, Deepa, my co-worker, whose daughter also happens to go to the same school, came over to me in the canteen.
"I just had to tell you this. It was my daughter's birthday and we cut a cake in school. Your daughter ate her share so neatly with a spoon, while all the other children made a mess of themselves. And then she ran off to play. My mom [a doctor], wanted to know who that lil girl was."
I am surprised. She expects one of us to feed her at home. Tantrums are meant for the home turf.

A singing mishap

The other day, after V picked up Mira from school, she requested a song: "Appa, paattu."

A very pleased V began belting out old Malayalam hits (like Maadapraave vaa...) in his best possible voice, confident in the knowledge that the car windows were rolled up.

"Appa, please, please stop!" she entreated. "I want the songs on the mobile (music player)."

So much for her tolerance for his musical skills.

Miraspeak

Yesterday being Gandhi Jayanti the father and daughter are at home enjoying a public holiday. The mother is at work enjoying overtime wages.
Since Mira has been clamouring to go for a walk (nakkaan ponam, she says), the father takes her out in the evening. He sees a puddle and offers to carry her for a while. Thereafter she insists on being carried. My feet will get dirty, she says.
Then what is the purpose of walking, says the father and puts her down.
A car comes in that quiet street and V decides to carry her again. Vandi icchum (vehicle will hit me) she says and refuses to leave her lofty perch. The father makes her see reason again.
After a while she says: "Appa, I am sweating. Please switch on the ac."
The pleasures of walking with a modern-day toddler.

Later in the night, she finds her father pouring over a book. She is bored. The nanny is either reading or preparing for bed. The father entertains her for a while later and goes back to his book. "Oh! you reading again?" she asks aghast.
When I call her, she tells me: "Amma, come fast. Put Tintin for me."
I disappoint her though. No, I come soon after she entreats but it is too late to watch Tintin. There is a tantrum until the father comes to resolve it. She recites Psalm 23 and goes off to sleep on my arm. Happily ever after.

Celebrating Mia

It was Mira's bday yesterday. With her dad away, celebrations went awry. But the kids anyway had fun at the church. A family friend had offered to take us to church in the morning.

The mass was followed by the church harvest festival, so there were a lot of auctions, food, stalls and games. Heated auctions for gold coins, wooden crosses, rosaries and wine from Israel brought by pilgrims to the Holy Land from the church; auctions for produce from the soil such as ethakula, drumsticks, kudampuli (kokum) and so on. I bought a pair of giant-sized vellarikkas (a cucumber variety that Keralites use in sambar) at the auction, my first accidental venture into auctioneering. The stalls had kota and organdy saris that the elderly Malloo Christian women like to wear to church, salwar material, second-hand toys (I bought one each for the kids while Mira got a pretty cow as a gift from Lijy) raw tapioca, Kerala goodies such as plum cakes, halwas and neyyappams, a naadan thattukada where appam and curry and other things palatable were made in a jiffy for the waiting devotees; and tupperware products where I bagged a complimentary fork. Before we peeped in at the stalls, we gulped down appam and chicken curry for a price, which wasnt as meagre as the parson had announced. The kids surprisingly enjoyed their second breakfast for the day. We sat and watched the auctions for a good while before calling it a day (not forgetting to buy kappa-fish curry for lunch) and squeezing ourselves into the car to visit Lijy's newly acquired and just renovated apartment.

On Ash's frequent query about when the happy birthday would come (he probably expected a birthday Santa to appear or at least the cake), we cut a Joecees plum cake that his grandparents had brought from Kerala. Propped the No. 3 candle on the cake and then Ash and me sang the happy birthday song. Ash blew out the candle before Mira could, so we had to light it again for her benefit. Topped it with vermicelli payasam.

Now that V is back, we hope to cut a 2nd cake today evening and call a couple of folks. Mira's birthdays have been jinxed so far - there were no celebrations in the first year because Ash was away in Kerala, she had a mild attack of chicken pox in the 2nd year, and this year her dad played truant. Anyway she had new outfits to wear - one for the church courtesy her aunt Renee, one for school today courtesy mil's tenant, while her first ghagra choli courtesy her granny awaits for the night event.

Phases, faces

These have been taken over a couple of months.

• After a bath, when she likes to wrap a towel over her head and pretend that it is her hair, long and flowing.
• Enjoying a piece of chicken, which she prefers to call fish.
• Excited about going out, on an occasion when we left Ash behind. It is not easy taking two kids out. So we prefer one at a time except when the nanny comes along too.
• Sweeping (dont miss the broom on the floor). Whenever I decide to sweep, she wants a broom too.

Did I ever mention that she has a skin tag near her left ear that might need to be surgically removed in a few years' time?

Queen of Spades

Before I proceed with my ramblings, let me thank each one of you who has called up, emailed, blog-commented on Ash's health and welfare. It feels great to know I have an extended family and friends' circle in blogland and cyberworld. Blogging definitely is a fun way for mothers to connect. Thank you all, Ash looks fine now. We are waiting for another blood lead test result to come on Friday - to see if his lead levels are going down, in which case he wont need medication.
***
Mira is getting used to her new school. V tells me he finds her sitting quietly on a chair watching the other kids cry. But then, she is a veteran at playschool having started school at one-and-a-half, because her mother couldnt afford to sit at home to take care of her.
She gets wholesome food too. V checked the menu yesterday. She apparently had kesari, biscuits and milk for breakfast, fruit juice for a later break and dal rice for lunch.
He tells me something else - that he is making friends with all the mothers who come to drop and pick up their kids. According to him, he is the only dad who comes to pick up his ward.

Mira is learning to identify objects in her Book of Alphabets. She gets some right, some wrong. I turn to Q and the picture of a queen with a crown over her head.
"Who is this?" I ask.
"Amma!"
That is the greatest flattery I have received.

Pre-schooler in college

The weekend had been hectic with two kids to manage. As V says, it is like having got a new child and we are still getting used to the new responsibility. And a great responsibility it is - to maintain the special care, balanced nutrition and great love that Ash's grandparents bestowed on him. He has been returned to us with a smooth shiny skin (save for itchy patches here and there) and a healthy body. They had taken care to make up for the absence of milk and non-veg food with fruits and other vegetables at regular intervals, a time table that we will struggle to maintain and the maid would love to shirk. We have to ensure that he gets his apple and juice when we are around, as we wont know if the maid fed him or not. And the kids are too naive to tell us if they got their share or if the maid ate them all up.

Sibling battles and adult mediation is in full force once again. My head is numb when I leave for work or when I hit bed at night. We are hoping they will be too preoccupied or tired once both start school.

Mira began school at WCC today. There was only an orientation programme today, and the girls of the home science dept presented some programmes that kept the children amused and quiet. The kids got candies while the parents were given refreshments.

There are two teachers and three ayahs, two to look after the kids and one to manage the food needs. The session starts with a prayer at 8.45 am, snacks at 9.45 am, play activities until lunch at 12.30, and a nap time before heading home at 2 pm. For a week the classes are from 8.30 to 11 am. There is a separate gate to enter the nursery school and parents are by no means allowed to use the college main gate for the purpose. No fancy bags, no fancy clothes, no socks - the kids have to be comfortable when they play in the sand or learn to get things from their bags. The home science students on the nutrition and human development stream will also interact with the children on a one-to-one basis, as part of their practical learning.

In all, I think the learning experience is going to be fun and we regret not having known about it early enough to send Ash.

p.s. Just as I do on crucial occasions, I forgot to take the camera along in all the hurry burry in the morning.

Taking the plunge

We have taken the plunge - of paying a year's schooling fee for Mira at the WCC nursery school. Her cousin sister from Kerala joins for BA English in the same college. We are visualising a scenario in which sister and sister will go to college together everyday, considering that the big sis hasnt got hostel accommodation and will need to stay with either of her two uncles' families in Chennai. She is likely to stay with her dad's bro and family rather than with us.
Classes for the pre-KG begin on July 1, with an orientation programme. Until then, I have to witness Mira's daily howls as I leave for work. She is bored stiff. I promise to take her out for a walk or an outing when I return in the evening.
But the days are too long and the evenings are another day for her.
***
V's uncle, who had played a major role in fixing our marriage, died after a not-very-long battle with prostate cancer day before yesterday. A homeo doctor, he had tried his hand at many trades not very succesfully- pisciculture, sericulture, cocoa cultivation and so on. My mom had been a paying guest in his house for nearly 13 years when she was posted in a school that was too far to commute on a daily basis. His wife was a teacher in the same school, and my mom was almost like a family member to them. They were the happiest when the two families established a bond through our marriage years later.

Missing each other

My mom is in Changanassery for two days to be with her grandson. She finds him a lot more disciplined, talking sense and talking clearly. The tantrums - or rather demands to get him this or that - continue. The itching is only occasional and his skin looks much better.

One thing I have forgot to mention is that we have stopped all the medication that we got for him from Trivandrum. When my inlaws took Ash for a 2nd opinion about his persistent itching with an Ayurveda doctor friend in Changanacheri, he found that Ash was being given siddha medicines and not proper ayurveda as we believed them to be. He advised us to stop them right away, including the oils. Instead he gave an allopathic ointment, probably with cortisone content, for temporary and has taken a blood test for lead content in his body. The test will be done in Bombay, so we have to wait for the results now.

I must say prayers help a lot too. The climate and cleaner air in Kerala too, I guess.

Mira's absence maketh his heart grow fonder for her. When his granpa gets him a toy, he now requests him to buy one for his kid sister, from whom he snatched away toys until now even when he didnt want to play with them.

And today, Mira tells me that she wants to go to granpa's house to be with Ash. She is bored sitting at home with the maid. Her new school will not start until July (V has finally consented to let me seek admission in WCC's nursery school when I offered to drop her at school in the mornings). Meanwhile we have to use all our resources to keep her occupied - to the terrace, to the groundfloor to see the watchman's daughters, for a walk, for an outing etc. etc. The outing is not easy with V's late hours except on Sundays. Last Sunday she went to the church and the beach, and has been clamouring for more church trips ever since.

Apart from looking after her doll, she has progressed to looking after me. She towels my hair, combs it but give up half way. "Amma, you have too much hair" and asks me to braid it myself. She insists that I read the newspaper while she applies creams and lotions on me.

As V watches her sweep and keep away things and pretend to cook, he remarks: "She is not going to be like her mother."

A difficult choice

I am confused. I have shortlisted 2 schools for Mira to do her pre-KG - the WCC Nursery School inside the college campus and Vatsalya montessori.

I prefer to put her in the former but V prefers the latter. His main reason in favour of the former is a school van that can drop her home. Also it is not too far in case he needs to drop her in the mornings. The van as well as the school, set in a residential area, is air-conditioned. The fee would come to some Rs.18000 for a year. But then a montessori school is big business in Chennai. This seems the most reasonable of the montessori schools I have considered for Mira. There are no trees and shade like at patasala, but the rooms are spacious and they seem to have the necessary learning material.

The WCC nursery school is supposed to be damn good, as a couple of people vouchsafed, but then it is slightly far from home and they dont have a conveyance facility. Parents have to make arrangements to drop the child by 8.30 am sharp and pick her up at 2 pm. Food is provided (the kids are the guinea pigs of the Home Science students) and there is time for a mid-day nap too. The campus is pretty good and huge with lots of trees and plenty of space for kids to run around. V tells me he wont have the time to drop and pick her every day. A chauffer wouldnt be a safe option either in these days unless I get somebody reliable, such as a maid, to go along. The present maid, a young one at that, cant be trusted with that. I cant run the risk of her eloping with the driver :0

I would have liked to say that my daughter began her studies in WCC and finished it in the same place - of course after a gap of 15 years after the nursery level. But it is not to be.

Summer cut

Guess who had a tonsure yesterday?

Mira looked like the little devil in Onida TV's ad (minus the tail) that Ash started crying on seeing her when we applied sandalwood paste on her head after a bath.

But she is not embarrassed or anything. She saw herself in the mirror at Saravana Bhavan's wash area at night and started laughing (she is too young to giggle), calling herself Motta Vaava (egg-headed baby).

In fact, it quite suits her.

My Beanie gal

As a salesman enlightened V about the various airconditioners in the showroom, me and Mira sauntered off to look at the other consumer durables on display. The soaring temperatures had made V decide to exchange our non-functioning 6-yr-old Hitachi Ac for a new one. In fact, he was at last willing to stop championing the high-priced but value-for-money Hitachi for a cheaper and equally durable model - because in Chennai's weather, long hours of usage and the proximity of our toxic, dead river Cooum, no AC will last over 5 years, inform AC salesmen and technicians.

I first checked out the top-loading washing machines, since that it next in my To Buy lists - not because I like clothes washed in them (I prefer clothes washed by hand, if done well) but because they might come in useful in an emergency - such as when a maid leaves on short notice (like my partimer who left in a huff after the new maid came).

I then walked over to the front-loading machines, and Mira asked me, "amma, ithenna?" I replied: Washing machine, baby. And she repeated: Washing machine! Mr. Bean!

She has watched many a times Mr. Bean putting his clothes for washing and its humorous aftermath, on Pogo TV!

p.s. We finally went for a Samsung AC, making us a near-complete Samsung family. Most of our household equipments are Samsung. And had a "bio-sleep" yesterday night. :)

My Day!

"There was a bomb blast in Spencer Plaza yesterday," read out my husband looking at the newspaper in the morning, while I was filling the laundry basket.

"Is it? Did anyone die?" I asked, thinking that the inevitable had happened on Chennai's busiest shopping mall.

"April Fool!" he shouted in glee. Well, I wasnt too embarassed because it is not just on April 1 that my husband tries to fool me.

Otherwise, All Fools' Day has been a tiring one for both of us. Mira had to be taken to the dr with the test reports and Xray, which showed bilateral broncho pneumonia. She has lost another 200 gms in 2 days. We had to wait over an hour as we had no appointment. She had to take 2 rounds of nebulisation, so V stayed back in the nurses' station for that while I proceeded to work. He ended taking a 3-hr work break while I reached work 2 hours late - not that there was any work waiting when I reached.

V has been taking a lot of time off work during work that he is getting worried. He has to take Ash for his classes and also for any hospital emergency the kids' have. I think it would have been better if we both were not working! But then, what do we do about our bread and butter - rather our kanji?

Coughing up solutions

Having two small children means that one is forever making trips to the hospital - the OP section mainly. Today was one such. Mira who had a barking dry cough, a remnant of the fever (V says I passed it to her, coming home as I do with infections acquired from bus and auto commutes), had to be taken to hospital in the morning.

We took a walk-in appointment and got to see the doctor 4th in line. The dr said it looked like bronchitis and needed 2 nebulisations apart from blood tests and xrays. Her weight has gone down from 11.1 kg to 10.9 kg in 4 days while her height was recorded at 86 cm, 3 cm below the average/normal. But we are all shorties, so I dont think she is going to be very tall.

I guess it has got to living in a polluted city - most little kids here have wheezing. We were a bit surprised initially since neither of us have any family history of asthma. But now we know that whenever the kids have fever, a wheeze follows. Ash, of course, because of his skin problem.

The dr as usual enquired about 'Daniel' (Ash) apart from our Easter celebration and the recession in the IT field, when he learnt that V worked for one. He told us that a break to Kerala would do Ash good as there is nothing that can help him as much as doting grandparents - instead of a maid who keeps him engaged in front of the TV.

But V is not convinced - he wants Ash to continue his sessions at Pebbles. He tells me that it might do me good too to take therapy for my inattentive manners! I just switch off midway through conversations with people.

Lean thoughts

A lean week at work.
The kids have not been going to playschool this week. Mira is just recovering from fever and an upset stomach. She had to be taken to hospital on Monday evening.
And we are plannning to send Ash to Kerala in a week's time. He has not been keeping well - eczema, poor eating, tantrums - and we hope our parents can get him to put on some weight and also some discipline into his life. He will have plenty of place to run around and be one with nature.
I am hoping he wont miss us and start crying. We have talked to him about it and he seems to be ok wit the idea of going there. He repeats after me: "There is Moma chechi (the tenant's daughter), there is Beena aunty, there is Appacha, Ammachi" This stint in Kerala might be at Changanachery, V's place. Or else he'd be saying: "There is Bruno (our dog), there is kockacko (hens), Appacha, Ammachi..." Though my place in Kerala would be a bit more lonely for him as there are no kids there, only hens and dogs and fields.
But Vinod has not been taking any decision about how and when he wants to travel with Ash, so I am in no position to book tickets for them. I always like to plan my travel in advance, while V does it last minute. It could also be a stalling tactic of his, to decide against sending Ash away. A doctor once told us that sending kids away to grandparents is escapism. I admit I am an escapist.
We had rains for a few days and now it is as hot as ever.
Easter was quiet. There were no guests, just us. A cousin and her kids from Bangalore paid a flying visit. Vinod went alone for the early morning mass inspite of the priest's appeal to all those who attended the GF mass that they shouldnt miss Easter mass - or it would be equal to thinking that Christ did not rise from the dead.
p.s. The above post has been rehashed from an email message. :)