Ash is growing out of our wings slowly. Yesterday, Vinod tried to cuddle him after lunch - he comes home for lunch as his office is close by - and the little punk said: "Appa, I need to sleep. You go to office" (though not in as many words). Once upon a time, V had to curl up with him on the couch if he was to sleep, but here is a big grown-up boy, all of three years, wanting not be disturbed as he watched a bit of TV and went to sleep.
And it also upsets him when we spank him for being naughty/bullying Mira - such as sinking all his teeth into her skin. Even if we just scold him harshly. There was a time when he didnt give a damn but the way he curls out his lower lip and starts sobbing now, we have no option but to forget our anger and hug him and tell him that he shouldnt hit/bite his lil sister. There are time when he likes Mira but within him, he has this animosity towards her. For having taken the attention of his parents away from him, when he was just one-and-a-half.
But he is still our special child. Born after fours years of desperation and hope and pain. We had watched him grow - through the monthly ultrasounds at IRM - centimetre by centimetre. Each limb, each organ, each heart beat. As he opened his eyes in the womb, or swam in the amniotic fluid and kicked at me - Ash had been terribly active in the belly, a lot more than Mira.
And I did not know until the anaestetist told me - a spinal anaesthesia in a C-section meant I could hear what was going around - that it was a boy, the moment after I heard him cry. And as I was wheeled out an hour later, a nurse cried out: "Mary, Mary, behold your son!" (She always liked calling me by my middle name). And there he was, turning his head to look at me curiously from the baby warmer that nestled him. I say, he looked at me open-eyed, not squinting at light like most newborns. But I was too tired and in pain to fondle him and just gave him a tired glance; anyway they brought him to my room soon after.
But I dont think I will ever forget that look of curiosity when he saw me first. I should have known he was going to be naughty.
His birth had been an occasion for celebration. V had treated all the obstetricians and nurses, our neighbours and friends and colleagues with a box of
mysore pa each. In comparison, Mira had been a low-budget baby altogether...
Though I wonder if Ash will realise how special he is to us.
