Saturday, September 01, 2007

My son

Ash is growing out of our wings slowly. Yesterday, Vinod tried to cuddle him after lunch - he comes home for lunch as his office is close by - and the little punk said: "Appa, I need to sleep. You go to office" (though not in as many words). Once upon a time, V had to curl up with him on the couch if he was to sleep, but here is a big grown-up boy, all of three years, wanting not be disturbed as he watched a bit of TV and went to sleep.
And it also upsets him when we spank him for being naughty/bullying Mira - such as sinking all his teeth into her skin. Even if we just scold him harshly. There was a time when he didnt give a damn but the way he curls out his lower lip and starts sobbing now, we have no option but to forget our anger and hug him and tell him that he shouldnt hit/bite his lil sister. There are time when he likes Mira but within him, he has this animosity towards her. For having taken the attention of his parents away from him, when he was just one-and-a-half.
But he is still our special child. Born after fours years of desperation and hope and pain. We had watched him grow - through the monthly ultrasounds at IRM - centimetre by centimetre. Each limb, each organ, each heart beat. As he opened his eyes in the womb, or swam in the amniotic fluid and kicked at me - Ash had been terribly active in the belly, a lot more than Mira.
And I did not know until the anaestetist told me - a spinal anaesthesia in a C-section meant I could hear what was going around - that it was a boy, the moment after I heard him cry. And as I was wheeled out an hour later, a nurse cried out: "Mary, Mary, behold your son!" (She always liked calling me by my middle name). And there he was, turning his head to look at me curiously from the baby warmer that nestled him. I say, he looked at me open-eyed, not squinting at light like most newborns. But I was too tired and in pain to fondle him and just gave him a tired glance; anyway they brought him to my room soon after.
ash, our firstborn
But I dont think I will ever forget that look of curiosity when he saw me first. I should have known he was going to be naughty.
His birth had been an occasion for celebration. V had treated all the obstetricians and nurses, our neighbours and friends and colleagues with a box of mysore pa each. In comparison, Mira had been a low-budget baby altogether...
Though I wonder if Ash will realise how special he is to us.

3 comments:

Joyismygoal said...

They are such fun at times and try our souls at others. But they are all our responsibility to raise ,nuture and teach how to be kindn reponsible human beings. It is a grave responsibility and a privledge to be a parent.

dreamrunner said...

I still list Ash's birth as the happiest day in my life,ahead of wedding (too stressed),first job (didn't seem that significant) or graduation (who cared?). I couldn't describe my joy after speaking to my mom who confirmed that my sister and Vinod had their long awaited baby. I got Vijay the enterprising canteen wallah at Development Alternatives to cycle out to get Kaju (Cashwnut) Burfee for all at work. Called almost everybody i knew to tell them about it, although only Anu (Roshin's former colleague, Venky's wife) and Tulika (not yet my girlfriend) seemed to share my excitement. I did no work that day.
Everytime, i see Ashwin and he does something like whacking my specs off my face or tearing the newspaper out of my hand, i fill up with anger, only to remember that he is still the author of the happiest day in my life.

Ladybird said...

:) I just hope the lil VIP continue to make our lives happy. Bringing up kids in this era is a big challenge. We grew up in times when life was much less complicated by technology and wealth. We grew up as kids oblivious of many things in the adult world and happy in our childhood. But here are 'lil big adults' aware of and comprehending every little detail around them, and struggling to keep up their innocence in a mad, competitive world.

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