Millstones around the neck

Reading some web literature on ADHD, makes me feel that I had/has some of its symptoms.

The principal characteristics of ADHD are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ..Because many normal children may have these symptoms, but at a low level, or the symptoms may be caused by another disorder, it is important that the child receive a thorough examination and appropriate diagnosis by a well-qualified professional.
A child who “can’t sit still” or is otherwise disruptive will be noticeable in school, but the inattentive daydreamer may be overlooked.

I am what could be called a daydreamer and when its involves daydreaming in class, at church while a sermon is on or "sleep-praying" through much of the Holy Mass, I think I must have been an undetected case of ADHD. Luckily for me I grew up in times when hyperactivity or inattentiveness was considered okay. There were hyperactive kids or short-statured kids in class or in the neighbourhood but that did not make them ADHD or Silver Syndrome candidates. But in this age everything is a problem and each problem has a name. There are milestones to be achieved and miles to go before before a kid even starts walking.

Changing schools

Yesterday I took the day off and escorted Ash to a development analyst near Loyola College. The doctor observed him and gave him some tests during that one-hour session and found his IQ above average. But he found that his speech had a nasal twang, lacked clarity and needed better vocabulary - but then the doctor was speaking in English and Tamil and Ash doesnt understand much of either, he's better versed in Malayalam.
The doctor advised me to take some months leave if possible so that Ash gets more parental attention. He has stressed on parental care and peer interaction for the kid. He also insisted that I remove him from the school he is going too since he says it is meant for special kids (he knows the guy who runs it) and it could have a retro effect on him - like a kid living in a slum colony learning the ways of the place he lives in.
So today we sent him to his old playschool, the one Mira goes to now, on a trial basis. The ladies running the place were pleased with his behaviour when V went to pick him up at lunchtime. They said he understood things, could recite his ABCs and 123s, and seemed deeply caring about his lil sister. If all goes well, we hope to keep both kids at the playschool till 1.30 p.m. by which time they would feed them lunch too. The fee for staying till 1.30 is a little higher than till 12 noon, but this timing should suit our partime maid better - she can finish her chores and pick up the kids and stay till we return.

Crisis?

I dont know if I should be calling anything on the domestic front a crisis considering that we have been bumping from one crisis to another - especially on the babysitting front.
Well, the new nanny has decided to quit - her illness has made her realise that she cant handle the drudgery/trauma of babysitting. So until we find a replacement, our partime maid will help us out, just as she was doing the past 3 days when Beautiful Face was down with fever. For someone who never did any daunting chores (such as washing dishes or washing clothes) at her own home, Manohari had made an effort to wash a few dishes, keep the kitchen platform tidy, bathe the kids and cook us dinner in the past 15 days (with New Year, the Pongal festival and Sundays being off-days for her). She was a good cook and we had got bold enough to eat more Tamilian fare while she was around. An SOS has been sent to Kerala to locate a new maid.
Today V paid Ashwin's school fee and donation (a building fund of 15000 that gets us tax exemption, luckily).
Ash also joined the Sunday school at church yesterday after mass though they take only kids who are 4+ . So he attends only the general session before individual classes start.
V fiercely says that he doesnt want his kids to be grow up without piety like me. Me and Robs never attended Sunday School since mom didnt really want us hobnobbing with the local kids. So we grew up a bit different - less of the traditional faith and more of dad's semi-radical thoughts on God and the shepherds of the church.

Parade pride

Another Republic Day. Watched a bit of the parade on DD channel between cooking and other chores. Ash sat on his cycle and watched most of the parade with great interest. Once upon a time, when Doordarshan ruled our lives, we would all sit and patriotically watch the entire parade and glow with pride as Kerala's float (this year's float had Onam as the theme) went past. This year, I not-so-patriotically sat and chopped vegetables while the national anthem was played, flouting a basic rule taught in school - stand up with your head held high when the national anthem is sung.

I regret to say that I never attended the parade at India Gate on Republic Day or the more interesting Beating the Retreat 10 days later when I was in Delhi. I would rather curl up in bed than venture out in the January cold at 5 a.m. to take our positions at the public gallery before 7 a.m. The security concerns then meant that one had to walk the last leg of the trip to the venue - from Shahjahan Road, I think, to India Gate - which I didnt look forward to then. Nor could one carry even a bottle of water to the venue. The security must be tighter now.

A leave of absence

Crisis at home today.
The nanny has cried off citing fever. Luckily she called when my partimer Kala was around doing her chores. We have requested her to finish her chores at the various houses she goes to and come by 2 p.m. V will pick up Mira after 12 (and the watchman Ash) and will stay at home till the maid comes.
I hope the other lady decides to come tomorrow. It is always the woman of the house who end up taking leave when there is a crisis and I told Vin that I cant be taking any more leave.
We will have to think of having a live-in maid again if such unforeseen crises have to be avoided. We have been doing a lot of balancing acts to let the present system work but I dont know how long we can pull on.
It is not doing my hypertension any good either. There is no time for walks, and I am getting more schizophrenic. And the doctor has increased my Amlong dose to 5 mg now.

The house this week

• I had a guest chef cooking me a breakfast of fish-celery soup and noodles the other day. I guess it would've suited a lunch or dinner menu better but it just happened to be an experimental effort. And the chef was none other than my husband. The soup turned out to be damn good for an experiment - and I am not saying that because he is my husband!
• I let myself be fooled by a guy who came selling vaccine shot cards for Hepatitis and DPT at Rs. 12 a person, and I bought 4 cards hoping to get us all immunised. I thought he was from the Chennai Corporation, and he didnt correct me either. My brain was probably working less than its normal capacity since I had just concocted a breakfast and lunch of assorted Kerala dishes, had handled two hyperactive brats in their weekend destructive mood on my own and had to get ready for work before the nanny made her appearance. I didnt ask him why the Corporation was conducting the vaccine drive at some school and not at the PHC nearby, like it does when it offers free polio doses for kids. I didnt even stop to think why the vaccine had to be paid for, though a nominal sum. He looked at the kids' immunisation cards which said they had completed all their vaccine shots and judged that they required booster shots for DPT and Hepatitis. That reminded me that I had missed one Hep. B shot because I'd got pregnant the second time round when it was due. So I decided to register all of us for this vaccine thing. I asked him if I could see the card and he said he will fill the names before that. Only when he gave it to me did I realise that it was organised by some Hindu mission, existent or non-existent, and I felt like a fool not to have looked at the card earlier. Happens. There are times when you act more foolish than you usually do. The green cards stick out from the sidepocket of my fridge cover as an embarassing reminder.
• The fan and the ac in our room has conked off, the former due to the constant switching off and on pastimes of the kids and the latter god knows why. Maybe the pigeons that are nesting on the other side of it will know. The gas has leaked and the compressor needs to be replaced. A wiser option would be to buy a new one, the technician advises us, as compressors cost almost half the price of a new AC.
• We are lucky to be able to sleep in the guest room in the absence of a live-in maid. Though life has not been easy cooking and packing off 2 kids to school, especially when I dont exactly enjoy cooking. And either of us have to reach home by 7.30 p.m. when the nanny leaves. Nor can we leave the kids at home and go anywhere.
• Well, you cant have the cake and eat it too.

Fishing for news

"My grand daughter is as big as your daughter. She also waves goodbye to aeroplanes flying above. Oh! she was here till 5 in the evening," said the man, watching his wife slice the fish we bought. We often go the kuppam (fishermen's colony) on Sunday evenings for a bargain buy.
That gave me a leeway to ask him a question that was on the tip of my tongue, but had refrained from asking for fear of upsetting V - he thinks I talk too much at times to the likes of autodrivers, salesboys at the local provision shop or fishermen for that matter. Come on, I am only a blog scribe digging for information or gain a few insights into their lives or their colloquialisms.
"How badly did the tsunami affect you?" Tsunami is a household word in the country ever since the December 2004 one that wreaked havoc on our shores.
"Oh. We were lucky not to have died, I must say. I wish we were dead. I was sleeping under a boat in the morning in a drunken stupor when the waves hit. It lashed me and my wife upto the lighthouse. We touched ground only then. We had nothing other than the clothes on our bodies. All our belongings were lost.
"Of course the government gave us money. Cant say otherwise. Amma did give but how much could she give? Not like this fellow who says he is distributing free televisions. We got Rs.4000. We took only 2 tokens - one for me and one for my wife - to claim the money. We didnt want to be dishonest though many took extra tokens to claim money."
I wish I could understand all that he said that night. My understanding of Tamil is not good enough (I know I have been repeating that oft enough) to grasp everything he said.
"Do you catch fish?"
He doesnt understand my question. My Tamil, you see. He however tells us that not to have second thoughts about buying fish at night. They are from the evening catch.
Dont buy fish in the morning which is stored in ice, he advises us. He goes off to sit in front of his hut.
Another buyer comes to have his buy cleaned and sliced. The mongers dont cut and clean the fish, there seems to be some division of labour here.
Vinod, who is busy giving instructions to the lady, pulls out a few currency notes to pay her. He hands me a note and asks me to give it to the man.
I happily extend it to him, but he refuses. "No, ma. That is wrong. I was just talking to you. Dont give me money."
I tell him that it is only part of the money we owe his wife.
As V swerves the car out, he asks me: "What was that man telling you?" His Tamil is worse than mine, so I narrate as best as I understood.
"Dont you think we are mean to bargain the price of fish to these poor people when we buy at double the price at the shops?" I ask him. He doesnt reply.

Pronoun basics

The kids have learnt the use of the possessive pronoun. It is not a very recent development but I have never thought/found time to write about it.
The pronoun that they find most useful is 'mine' but since they havent learnt to use I, my, mine and still resort to their names to identify themselves and their stuff, there is some grammatical aberration here. Malayalam grammar that is. Their use of English is still limited to words - sun, apple, elephant etc. - but they are getting pretty comfy in their mother tongue. I mean, Mira can make three-word sentences though I dunno if that is an achivement for a 2-year-old.
Coming back to pronouns, Mira uses the word Vaavii (Vaava's) to identify/claim something that she thinks is hers. It almost sounds like Paapi to us, the Malayalam equivalent for sinner.
And now I hear Ash using Achachiya to identify anything that is his.
The Tamil influence is beginning to show since the advent of the Tamilian nanny. Mira has abandoned the word mumma (something she picked up from Ash though I dont know where he got it from) for water and now uses the Tamil word thanni for it. All our efforts at telling them that it is either vellam (Malayalam) or water hadnt yielded results. Visiting relatives who heard their pleas for mumma often thought they were asking for me.
Happy Sundae ;) everyone!

Empty threats

We have been threatening Ash that we will pack him off to his grandparents' place in Kerala if he doesnt behave/raises a tantrum/bullies Mira etc. etc.
Appacha veetil poyi ninno (Go stay in granpa's house), we tell him. That gets him quiet. Or emotional. He begins crying or tries to change the topic or tries to get the parent into a good mood to lessen the punishment.
But we have been using this so often that it has become cliched. The kids are now using it to impose judgements on each other.
Appacha ninno (Granpa stay), each hurl punishment on the other at the slightest instance of a crime.
Ash is more specific: Vaava Appacha ninno. He then comes to us to rally support for his judgement against Vaava, his demon sister: Amma, vaava Appacha ninno.
But Mira's pronouncement of the judgment is more cute. She stresses on the ninno. She even uses it against the maid or us parents when she doesnt like the way we are behaving towards her! Though she breaks into a howl if we sound as if we really mean to send her away.
Meanwhile the Appacha and Ammachi are feeling sad about their grandchildren's reactions to living with them.

Chennai sangamam

The cultural fest that entertained most Chennaites in the Pongal season. A scene from the Skating Park at Shenoy Nagar... And tired folk artists wait for their bus to leave after the show.

We went for the show at the Anna nagar Tower Park (of the Pavanayi Shavamayi fame to most Malayalees who have watched the film Nadodikattu) on three nights and once to the Skating Park at Shenoy Nagar. V's interest was mainly in the food fest on the sidelines, so I didnt get to watch much of Tamil Nadu's folk music and dance on show at the parks in Chennai during the Pongal week. Only yesterday we stayed to watch a 20-minute Chendamelam by a women's troupe from Kottayam (I suspect they were the same we had glimpsed at the inaugural of a shop on the Kottayam route when we were there) - that was quite a feat, I should say, since those drums are real heavy. It had a full audience and their undivided attention. My kids loved it too - at least Mira was. Ash for a change was distracted by the icecream vendors and the balloon sellers.

I also got to see a bit of kaavadi attam and some other folk dance by men in shiny pink outfits. And folk music and skits and dance drama, which I didnt really understand since I have only a basic knowledge of Tamil. Maybe next year I should make it a point to watch for longer hours and get to understand the arts and culture of the State I am residing in.

A drive to Mahabs

A wayside teashop, which also sold tender coconuts, the MGOCSM meeting on the Pondy route, and the kids play area in MGM beach resort (dont miss the lady in blue - that's me!).

On Sunday afternoon we took the ECR route to attend a church meeting on the Mahabs-Pondy route. The way V bustled us out of the house one would assume that he was going to give the inaugural speech! Anyway we reached in time for tea and snacks, stayed for the invocation song by an old junior pal of mine from college (she has a wonderful voice) and came off before the Chief Guest, former Maharashtra Governor PC Alexander, or Rev. Valsan Thampu, now Principal of St. Stephen's College-Delhi, spoke. Valsan Thampu is one of my favorite speakers on theology - he used to give sermons at the fellowship meetings in JNU on Sundays, which I attended when I was living in the campus for my journalism course.

We then proceeded to Mahabs but as Ash said, the sun had gone off to sleep, and we couldnt see the monuments, so we tried our luck about seeing a Malayalam movie at Maayajal - but the movie had changed. In the end we decided to have dinner at MGM resort and head home. The ambience was good with the sea waves washing up close to the restaurant, but the buffet dinner was not so good - we woke up with bloated tummies the next day.

Time out

In the centre is a Timex watch I bought 2 days back on an impulse, when I went to collect my old black watch after servicing. It is not the kind of watch a 30+ mother of two should be wearing but I couldnt resist it. It is baby pink - the kind young college-going girls should be wearing. But I guess I was feeling as if I were back in college after watching Classmates movie on dvd last Sunday. It showed an era when I was in college, so it was easy to relate to it. And I never thought a dvd would affect me as much as watching a film in theatre would. Such was the power of the movie, I should say.

V liked it and has offered to pay the credit bill for it when I told him it was my (advance) birthday treat to myself.

But I particularly like my black watch, which I had got with my first salary in 1995 in Delhi. Coincidentally for the same price as my new one - Rs. 995. That was a period when watches were dearer, now the younger generation wears use-and-throw ones that are easy on the wallet.

The gold-stapped one was a farewell gift from my old office in Delhi but I have not been wearing it much every since I changed the leather strap for a metal one. I had overlooked the fact that I was allergic to many metals - save for gold and silver - when I did that.

The latter two belong to the Titan family, which revolutionised the watch industry in India. Until then I had a boring-looking HMT watch which my dad got me when I was in high school. Nowadays kids in kindergarten sport fashionable-looking watches but in those days one didnt own a watch until one was 12-13 years old! That reminds me, Ash might want a watch and a mobile phone when he starts school in June!

V just called to say that a letter has come from UCA school stating that Ash has got admission to LKG!

Super skipper

Know why I skipped most adventure rides at Veegaland amusement park?

A tale of two...

...cups Tulika got me from Auroville. Unearthly prices though by Indian standards.

... platform tickets we procured last Saturday at the Central Railway Station standing in a serpentine and chaotic queue. Why cant the Railways have more counters in the evenings?

... kids who helped clean the balcony and door. However it meant double work in the end for me, not having bargained that they will spill half the soil from the plant pots on the floor.

Admission hurdle

I have never been this nervous for ages. Not even when I went for a job interview. But when it involves the quizzing of a hyperactive almost-4-year-old preschooler like Ash by the Principal of the only school he has applied in, I had reasons to be worried. We had drilled a couple of colours into his little brain - red and blue and green (well that's not the colors of his brain but the colors he crammed into his brain) but not black and white - but we never got round to teaching him shapes.
So off we went to the school in the afternoon with a smartly dressed Ash hoping for the best. We sat outside the Principal's room with other nervous parents. Some kids looked overdressed for the day; there was this little girl with a Dancing Princess written in front of her top who looked like she would break into a dance any moment. Some kids wore shoes with flashing lights.
Our token no was 16 and there was a good deal of waiting time ahead for us though the interview call letter said 2.30 p.m. A good 10 minutes later Ash decided that it was a doctor's room and kept shouting that he didnt want to go in there. So V took him out and let him watch the big boys play basket ball. It was tough keeping him watching though, as he wanted to join in the fun.
Our turn came soon and V walked in carrying Ash, who kept saying Venda Venda (no, no). So as soon as we went in we had to explain that he thought it was the doctor's room. The Princi and the other lady in the room smiled. The Princi wanted to know who looked after the kids when we were at work. A maid, I replied.
The other lady pushed some books before Ash, who eagerly began turning the pages and went from one book to another. I hoped for god's sake that he wouldnt take the shapes and colors book since he didnt seem to know much about them. But while the Princi was asking me something, Ash had correctly identified a color, a shape and an elephant. They then made him sing two rhymes and he sang Twinkle twinkle and London Bridge. The ladies said his speech lacked clarity for someone who was nearly four. We informed that he has started speaking when he was around 3. The Tamilian-looking lady said that it would be better to keep him in a preschool for another year. She didnt seem keen on having him there but the Princi, who looked royal yet motherly, said she would admit him but if he doesnt pick up he might have to repeat LKG next year. She judged that Ash looked fidgety and puny and assumed that lack of attention from parents and a younger sibling would have affected his development. Ash was given a candy from a bowl which he had originally mistaken for a box of needles , and he almost dived for another before V grabbed him.
"Bye, Ashwin," said the Princi smiling.
"Bye, fish outside," he rplied chewing his candy. The ladies looked at us quizzically. We explained he meant the fish in the aquarium outside, thanked them and walked out.
The long and short of it is that Ash will make it to LKG at UCA but the official intimation wont come until 10 days later.

Maid update

Sorry folks! I have not been finding time to blog posts what with having to upload pictures of our recent excursions - and I am not done yet. My mornings are now full with cooking 2-minute Top Ramen Noodles or Thayaar (a batter brand that is as good as home made) dosas or at worst puttu, the easiest of Kerala breakfast dishes in addition to the lunch dishes.

I am trying to rope in the new nanny to do more cooking and I hope she lasts at least a month till my old loyal maid Leelama comes. Right now, she says she has to keep company for her husband who is undergoing oncological treatment at a medical college in Kerala. I havent had time to mention this past week that my partime maid brought this lifeboat of a nanny, her relative, to take care of the kids 12-7ish. I had almost decided on sending the kids full time to the creche Mira goes to and get the partimer to babysit them for the late evening hours until either of us reached home.
Well, the new recruit, who goes by the name of Manohari - though her inlaws call her Mageshwari, which V says is probably because they didnt find her a manohari (beauty) - seems ok. At least she is well-dressed and neat unlike the topwork maids, who look like they havent had a bath for a week, kindly speaking. Only, Mira doesnt go to her and clings to me or V for dear life. But Ash has become very pally with her.
Anyway we are enjoying the privacy and peace that the non-existence of a stranger in the house (read live-in maid) is giving us now.
It also gives our guests some breathing space and a room to themselves. Talking of guests, Robin and Tulika left on Saturday after a hectic schedule of visits and shopping. Sadly I did not find enough time to sit down and chat.

Auroville's babe

Happier New Year

Here's hoping that you and me will have a year ahead that is more prosperous and happier than 2007. The previous year had not started right for us, what with V's accident and half a year of misfortunes. But I hope 2007 treated you well.
We heralded 2008 at the Koyambedu church during a midnight mass. And just the previous night, the church had held its first belated Christmas carol service - it turned out to be a fun night with a high tea followed by lots of singing, skits, Christmas tree and Santa Claus competitions, and fireworks.

My brother and wife who came down on 31st left for Pondicherry the same day. We, including our brood, followed them the next day evening after a breakfast and lunch sponsored by V's cousin's family. V says it probably points to what is in store for him - no cooking efforts from me, a closed kitchen and eat-outs!
Pondicherry is the place most Chennaites head out to when they want to have fun - booze (and petrol) at cheaper rates since it is a Union Territory. I simply love the ride on the ECR with thesea on one side and fabulous roads that make driving a pleasure. The kids slept for a good while. We stopped at a quiet stretch with a canopy of trees and green fields that stood in contrast to the orange-red sun. V took some pictures while the kids attended the calls of nature. When I turned back again to the sun, it was no more there. Ash wanted to know where the sun went and I told him it had gone to sleep - an information he remembered on our ride back yesterday.

(The kids outside a shop selling antique stuff near Pondy. Ash was all excited about some mosquito larvae he saw in a vase outside)

My brother had booked a 2-bed apartment with a kitchen, drawing and a big balcony, so we had a room to ourselves. The beach was too crowded for our liking, so we went off to have a dinner of continental cuisine. Our plans to quickly see Auroville before heading for Mahabs and Dakshinchitra didnt fructify since the road to the ashram was bad. We had to go back to Pondy again for refuelling and lunch and some wine to take home. We also got talking to an Englishman at Le Cafe on the beach, who is blogging about his Indian adventure.
In the end, we actually got to Auroville around 4 p.m. when they had closed entry to the Matrimandir there. Tulika bought some nice cups from the boutique there. Some snacks and coffee at an Auroville restaurant en route, we reached Chennai a little after 9 p.m. - but a minor car trouble meant that we couldnt reach home until 12 midnight.

pondy & new yr

Anyway, I hope the year is starting just as well for all of you out there giving my poor blog a cursory glance amidst your busy schedules.