Autobiography of a dusky Indian

"I think you have become a little fairer living with me," said her husband of 15 years. Rosakutty sighed. Skin tones frequently creep into conversations and small talk she makes with members of her family and community.

"Not really. A bleach and Shahnaz facial can do the trick," she retorted. A trick that had fooled people back in her hometown at a recent wedding. 'Not bad, look who has become fairer in spite of living in a hot city,' they had murmured.

But until she was introduced to the world of Pearl Facials and Oxy bleaches, it had been a difficult growing-up. Even mother and grandmother, both fair and beautiful, made fun. "Oh, doesnt her face resemble the rain clouds? All the milk and turmeric we applied on you hasnt helped." But at other times, they consoled her. "You have inherited the Neelakaarvarnan's (Lord Krishna) colour". Or "aint black seven-fold beautiful?" Or "Dont worry, dark girls generally land a fair husband." Father kept quiet, because she had taken after him in colour and looks.

Mother often avoided taking her with her for weddings or outings. Instead she took her older cousin, fair and pretty, who came to the family home during vacations. Or her lil brother. Maybe it wasnt deliberate, just circumstances.

The darkness on the exterior clouded her innards too; it enveloped her thoughts, her emotions and slowly her life too. She found solace in books, in fairytales, in daydreaming. Rosakutty pretended she was Rapunzel, or Catherine (who could win a Heathcliff's devotion) or at least a Mills & Boon heroine. She was good in studies, much to her father's pride. But it did not stop him from investing in gold and other wise savings to help win her a good husband. Fair and good looking girls always faired well in the marriage market even if money changed hands, but the dark and ugly ones could land a good catch too if they had a lucrative career, a rich father or enough to give in cash and kind.

The wait wasnt short - some of her suitors found her dark and some found her not good-looking. She rejected some and some rejected her. But in the end, she found her match in a fairly good-looking and well-mannered guy, who himself had been on the look-out for a fair and pretty girl initially. Destiny prevailed and she became his wife; he treated her more royally than she had ever been treated the first quarter of her life. It did not stop the snide remarks from relatives and neighbours though. "Surprising that your inlaws dont mind a dark daughter-in-law", or "Guess boys are willing to marry anyone for money these days", they said. Coming as they did from people who were not fair or had trouble despatching their dark or not-so-ravishing daughters themselves, Rosakutty thought it was hilarious but refrained from telling them so.

Destiny also gave her a son who looked like her and a daughter who looked like her mother. At last she had had her retribution - a fair and pretty daughter for all the ignominy she suffered as a child. The child was only passably fair but that was okay - as long as she wasnt dark, she would have an easier life.

But as she began taking her out more often than she did the boy, her husband wondered: "Arent you behaving like your mother yourself?"