Our Braveheart

The Passion Week began with Ash watching The Passion of Christ with a passion and courage strange in a little boy. I had procured the DVD sometime back to view it but never found the time to sit and view it. Ash watched it along with my dad, when he came here last.
And on this Palm Sunday - after V reneged on his promise to take Ash and the rest of us for the morning mass - he expressed an interest in watching the DVD again. While I couldnt bear to view some of the scenes I got to see before I went out with Mira, Ash watched the whole thing devotedly - in his words, until Jesus was crucified and put in the coffin. V, who cannot bear to see such violence, kept away and marvelled at Ash's mental strength.
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In the late evening, V took us all to the evening service at church. It was nice and calm since there werent many people around. We partook of the ginger coffee, and got some positive reviews of the prayer meeting (there sits Mira on chairs stacked up for the programme) and dinner we hosted the previous Sunday at our home. The new bold colours of the walls were appreciated by some.

Experiments with colour

Painting the house green, blue and pink this weekend courtesy Asian Paints. The kids' room have green and blue (on one wall), ours purple and pink (yet to be done), and the living room cream, yellowish green and some shade of pink from Dulux Paints. The trend is to have one wall in a dark, contrast color. Some go for different colours for each wall :)

However, to our dismay the Golden Apple yellow we chose for the living cum dining turned out too bright and deep, and we had to do some damage control today by mixing more of white and making it off-white in the process. As the painter men said, colours turn out one shade darker than what the color palette says.

The kids, who we unsuccesfully tried to keep in the bedroom that was spared for now, kept coming out to watch the romance of the walls with the brushes and rollers. They are happy that the house is looking new again, and have shelved demands for a new house. As if buying a new house was as easy as changing a tooth brush!

Home alone

I am trying out something new - leaving the kids alone in the house for short, say 10-minute, durations. The first experiment was done last Saturday - between the time I left for work and the time V could make it home after getting stuck at a traffic junction. I left explicit orders not to open the door if anyone rang the bell since V had a key to the house and would open it himself. They did express some fear in being alone, so I switched on the TV and gave some papers to Ash to draw something. My only worry was Mira bullying/picking up fights with her brother, a favorite pastime of hers these days.
Today I tried it again - the interrugnum between my departure and our partime maid Kala's arrival. Hardly 5-10 minutes, but after I left I worried if I had switched the heater off and if they would lock themselves in accidentally. I latched the kitchen door and told them not to go in there. Ash was happy with his books and Mira with the TV, and there were no casualties.
If Ash had been a normal, healthy child with the maturity of a 6-year-old, I wouldnt have worried or I would have tried this earlier. But the sickness has kind of made him helpless and less in sync with his surroundings, and he often behaves like he is the younger sibling.
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With just a month to go for their summer vacation in Kerala, we have shelved plans to find a maid through an agency, and are instead managing with Kala, who stays from 12 noon to 1.10 pm when the school van arrives. And when they return from school, another old hand of mine (who has kindly consented to help out though she doesnt need to work for a living anymore) sits with them until we arrive.
We are talking Kala around to accepting a full-time nanny-cum-cook's role from June when school reopens. And she is not averse to the idea since she is finding her present work profile too exhausting - sweeping-swabbing-washing clothes and utensils at 4-5 houses until lunch time and 2-3 hour cooking assignment at a Brahmin household in the evening. But I only hope she wont try to squeeze in a couple of chores at a couple of other houses while she dons this full-time role for us. She is just not used to idling, while many of the locals we had considered for childcare hated to tax themselves. The Kerala maids, in comparison, work very hard. Or maybe it is city life and awareness about workers' rights that makes the locals so finicky.
What I am hoping for is that in two years' time, the duo will be able to spend the afterschool hours alone at home.

Meeting a collodion baby

We often tend to think that our hardships are the worst. Ashwin's ill-health in the past two years have often made us wonder why God lets us suffer so. But yesterday at CMC, I saw a 3 1/2-year-old boy with very severe erythroderma, and it made me feel our suffering was nothing in comparison to that family's. Just looking at the child made our eyes well up and our hearts heavy.
Ash had a morning appointment with the endocrinologist, but since we were told that it might materialise only in the evening, we finished an impromptu appointment with his dermatologist - who thought he looked much better, and suggested some new creams and ointments for him. We also got to meet his friend the nurse, who presented him a coffee mug. After lunch, we returned to the crowded waiting area of peadiatric endocrinology.
V suggested that I sit in the waiting area outside which was less crowded since he didnt want the children catching any new infection. The only place available was near a mother and child having a meal on the floor between two rows of chairs. I reluctantly went to the seat in front of them since people can make their meals very messy by spilling half the food and throwing curry leaves and related stuff on the floor. Nor did I want Ash and Mira, who were at their riotous best yesterday fighting non-stop with each other, eyeing his meal curiously.
After a while, I casually looked at the pair having their meal. The kid had his face hidden by a soiled white cap. I quickly noticed that there was something seriously wrong with the skin or what little was visible through his full-sleeved t-shirt. I assumed it was a very bad case of eczema, and couldnt help glancing back again. Shortly after, I asked the lady if it was eczema. She didnt look like she knew any English but she told me he was a collodion baby.
And then we began a long conversation in Tamil, me in my broken Tamil of course. I talked to her because I found her face attractive and the child's condition depressingly helpless. I told her my son's skin had been almost like that and that it had got better now. That gave her hope. She was probably in her early 40s and she was the child's grandmother and the mother had gone to get an appointment. She had given her daughter in marriage to her brother, a custom prevalent in Tamil Nadu. The child's skin condition seemed to be a genetic problem caused by the consanginous relationship of his parents.
She spoke to me about the pain and travails of bringing him up, and that they had purchased an AC to keep him cool. I noticed that she kept his clothes wet - apparently that kept him happy. She told me that the boy's father did not want another child - because if it turned out to be healthy they might ignore this boy, and if it was another baby like this, they couldnt bear the trauma and struggle. As it is, they were spending a good sum every month (and they looked poor) to buy medicines for his eyes and skin.
The mother later showed me a note from another dermatologist, which mentioned that their first child with a similar problem had died. The child looked at me with his watery, upturned eyes and I patted him. He had a ravenous appetite, and had no food allergies, the granny said.
As for his name, she said the boy's father had named him Sivaranjan (or something similar) but according to his star, his name was something else (I cant remember). The child did not have a name for nearly 4 months after his birth and was just called Parimala's baby, because they had not expected him to live long. And then a doctor named him Samuel.
She went away to the window at the far end to keep the boy amused, while we soon made our way to the doctor's room. They were sitting on the steps when we bid them good bye. V later saw them at the lab and at the x-ray room when he took Ash for his blood tests (while me and Mira went to have tea). He checked with me if we could help them somehow. Apparently they were shocked and surprised when he offered some money, and refused at first. V told them it was for the boy, and they called out to him and made him say thanks.
We thought a lot about that poor little child as we drove back. His teary innocent eyes and patchy skin continue to bother us, and I hope God will lessen his misery soon.

Maid maze

This one week, Ash and Mira have had trouble remembering the names of the nannies and would-be nannies expressing an interest in looking after them.
On Monday, we had old faithful Kala's sister-in-law Kalaivani reporting to work in the evening. Since she was supposed to join duty in the morning and did not make her appearance until 11 am, I had to take leave. Some communication gap. I advised the kids to call her Vani-amma since we already had a Kala-amma. She was soft and sweet with the kids, and made us a dinner of rotis and broccoli. The next day, a full day from 9-7 pm with only a short lunch break at her home, was probably taxing for her and she didnt appear the day after. Her husband informed me that her mother had taken ill and she would return to work on Saturday. Today he told she would return only on Monday, and we could look for a substitute.
So on Wednesday and Thursday, Kala took responsibility for her truant sil and helped us out in the evening hours after school. Since the kids have school from 2-4.30 p.m. this month, me and V kept them company in turns (me till noon and V after that) until they left.
Meanwhile Kala made frantic efforts to find us a new maid. Yesterday she brought an old lady, who said she was coming to work for the first time and offered to sit from 4-7 pm. She plonked herself on the sofa and seemed unable to stand for long or manage two small kids.
And in the night, she brought another candidate whom Vinod said seemed ok. Today morning, she came for an audience with me, and I put her straight to work thinking V had already spoken about the terms. I told Ash, who was already up, that he call her Chandra-amma.
She was a thin wiry woman, who looked fit but spoke like a taperecorder. After the self-promotion, she requested that I give her a loan of Rs. 2000 so that she could urgently pay off somebody blah blah. I told her that she will have to discuss that with V, who anyway has an aversion to giving loans. He promptly declined, but offered to give her daily wages if she need the money. She said in that case she will have to arrange the loan at the earliest from some other source and would return before noon. She did not return!
We need to find someone at the earliest to manage the kids till schools close on the 7th. I hope to take them to Chandanapally for the summer vacation. But would they remain there the whole two months, I am not sure.

Honoured

On a particularly miserable and maddening day, yesterday, I got this message from a person I had formed a friendship with last year. (Thanks to the blog, I have made a few sweet friends from various parts of the globe - people I have never seen but who have become a part of my virtual world and real world too.)

R***, You are in the dedication to my master thesis (a collection of poems) and I also dedicate a couple of poems to you :)
Thank you for your e-friendship! :)
Much love,
J**

And I said: Oh! I am really honoured. I dont think I did anything much but I am glad if you found me of help. And she replied:

You are one of the few who have the courage to blog about real life. I seek to describe this notion of "real" in my poetry--anything I feel or observe while both in India and America. So thank you for allowing your heart to lead :)

Much love!

Well, actually I dont pour my heart out - I will need another private blog for that :) This is just a slice of my life dealing with my kids. Thank you for brightening my day, J.